Baby Michael Christian

A living reminder...

2011-05-28T01:52:00.002-05:00

Since it's Memorial Day weekend, our neighbors have all their family at their house to celebrate. One of their sons and his wife had a little boy a few days before Michael was born. Tonight Chad and I were sitting on our back porch playing with our dogs when I caught a glimps of our neighbor's grandson playing in the yard. It made me really sad to look at him and think, 'that's how big my Michael would be right now.' I can't help but think about what he would look like? What would his favorite toys be? Would he be a momma's boy or a tough guy like daddy? The closer I get to having our little girl (due in 28 days) the more I think about Michael. I don't want to be sad. I'm trying really hard to be happy and think positive. I'm just so worried that I'm not going to be able to bring my little girl home like we never got to bring Michael home. Even though we know she doesn't have TD, I can't help but stress about all the other things that could go wrong. (cord accident, stillbirth, etc.) I know that ultimately I have no control over what happens. I have placed it all in God's hands and I trust that he will allow things to work out for good.

Bittersweet

2010-12-28T09:50:00.004-06:00

Well, Chad and I have come to the next chapter in our lives; we are having another baby! We are 14 weeks, 3 days along and due on Michael's birthday; June 25, 2011. What a blessing!!! This is very bittersweet for us. We miss our little boy and wish that he could be here sharing the excitement with us. I'm sure he would have been the best big brother ever...

To Write Their Names In The Sand

2010-12-21T16:19:00.005-06:00

To Write Their Names In The Sand is a memorial website for children. Carly lovingly writes each individual child's name in the sand on a remote slice of heavenly beach called Mullaloo Point on the south coast of western Australia. Since 2008, she has written almost 9,000 children's names in the sand. Carly offers her service free of charge, but she does accept donations or you can purchase a high resolution .jpeg image for $20. All money goes to keep this a free service.
HERE is the link for the beautiful picture of my son's name written in the sand...

Flowers

2010-06-24T18:14:00.004-05:00

A lady from our local flower shop delivered the most beautiful bouquet to my house today. I had no idea who could be sending us flowers. I opened the card and it read, "Today, Michael Christian, we celebrate you and the blessing you and your parents were to us. With all our love, Your Midwives." How sweet of them!!! I immediately started crying. It took me back to a year ago.

Last June 24 I was packing my bag getting ready to go to the hospital to have my son who I knew was going to die shortly after he was born. I was having so much anxiety. I remember just wanting to run away. (like that would make it all go away) I knew I was about to embark on the most painful and heartbreaking journey ever.
Today, I sit here a changed person. My love for God has grown 10 fold. I have so much more compassion for my fellow man. I have a new outlook on life. I try really hard to not dwell on the negatives of this world, but instead count every blessing no matter how small. Michael was such a blessing to us, our family and friends, our midwives, and other families affected by TD. Because of him, I started the 'Thanatophoric Dysplasia Facebook Group' and have connected people around all around the world with others who have also been touched by this extremely rare form of dwarfism. Michael deserves the credit for connecting these special people to each other. I told my midwives at my 6-weeks check up that I wanted to turn our situation into something positive. I feel like I have accomplished that by starting the group, speaking at the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep training session, being on the news speaking about Micheal, and changing the direction of my life. BUT... I don't want to stop here. I still want to start a memorial fund in Michael's honor to help other parents who have lost children pay for funeral costs and headstones.
I want to thank everyone who has prayed for us, held our hands, helped us out, listened to me cry, asked us to share Michael's story to help others, and just down right been a good friend. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

(and to those who have lied about us, said/ written nasty things about us and our son, cursed us... May God have mercy on you... You know who you are.)

Michael's Headstone Part 1

2010-06-09T16:34:00.007-05:00

Well, I just got the final proof back on Michael's headstone. I thinks it's going to be beautiful!!!

(Michael's nursery theme and baby shower theme was lambs.)

It will take about a month for it to arrive. The cemetery is allowing us to set the marker ourselves. So, when we do that, I'll post more pics....

Beautiful Boy...

2010-02-27T15:37:00.001-06:00

Our friend, Adam, made this tribute video for Michael. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do...

Thinking About You...

2010-02-18T23:28:00.003-06:00

I can't sleep again. I'm up thinking about you, Michael. You've been on my mind an awful lot lately. I keep thinking about how you would be crawling all over the place, getting into everything. You would have probably already said your first word by now. Maybe it would have been "Daddy." I think about you when I go to the store, when I cook dinner, when I TRY to go to bed. I think of you all the time. You should be here with me. I just miss you so, so much. I can't wait until I can hold you again.

Love,
Your Mommy

Reaching Out...

2009-11-16T18:44:00.007-06:00

Recently Chad and I were asked to come speak at a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep training session and to do an interview with Channel 11. It went surprisingly well. I really hope we helped the trainees with what we had to say. I pray we inspired them to want to go help as many bereaved families as possible.

The interview with Channel 11 was so beautiful. They made my little boy a star!!! I pray that more people will talk about, volunteer for, and donate to NILMDTS. They are such a wonderful organization. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the pictures that our photographer, Michelle Clynch, shot for us. She is so very talented. For her to use her talents to help others just proves how full of love her heart is. Thank you so very much, Michelle. Chad and I have a special place in our hearts for you and the NILMDTS foundation.

Here is the link to the article:
http://cbs11tv.com/local/now.I.lay.2.1314250.html

NILMDTS is in much need of more photographers to donate their time and services to help bereaved families all over the world. If you are unable to volunteer, please consider making a donation.

You want me to do what????

2009-11-11T20:22:00.004-06:00

I know it's been a long time since my last post. Things have been ok for us. I'm slowly getting back into the groove of things. I miss Michael more and more everyday, but it is getting easier to deal. There are moments when I sit there and ask myself, "Did this really happened to us?" Sometimes it seems like a very bad dream. Other times, I'm ok just knowing that I will see Michael again in God's Kingdom. The more time that passes, the more hope I have towards trying for another baby. Chad and I are already discussing the things we'd like to do differently during our next pregnancy. I'm already praying that our second baby can be healthy and able to come home with us.

So, I got an email a few weeks ago from Michelle Clynch with the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep foundation. (she is the one who took those wonderful pictures of Michael and composed that awesome video for us) Anyways, she asked me if I would be willing to speak at the NILMDTS training session for new photographers wanting to join the organization. WOW! ME? She wants me to tell the trainees about our experience. I'm doing that in 2 days and I'm super duper nervous. I really don't want to have a breakdown in front of all those strangers. I know they would understand, but I just don't want to emotionally go there. When I told her I would do it, she then told me that Channel 11 News in DFW has asked her to do an interview about NILMDTS and wanted to also interview a mom that she's worked with. So, she asked me to do that as well. I'm not as nervous about doing that because someone will be there asking me questions. At the training session, it's just me up there speaking. I REALLY need y'all to pray that God can inspire my words and to give me the strength to speak them. I think it's awesome that I was asked to do this. More people should be aware of such a wonderful foundation that does amazing things for bereaved families. I would have never known about NILMDTS if my midwives didn't ask if we would like a photographer to come and take pictures of the baby when he was born. I'm so grateful to them for setting it all up. I'm also thankful to all the photographers affiliated with NILMDTS. You are some amazing people. God has blessed you with the talent of photography. You are taking that talent and providing a gracious service to bereaved families. May God continue to bless you all for the wonderful things you do.....

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

2009-08-11T17:49:00.016-05:00

Photos by Michelle Clynch

If you are capable, please make a donation in Michael's name to Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Their services were such a blessing to us. Without donations by loving people like yourself, we wouldn't have been able to have these beautiful pictures of our baby boy. You can also read other families' stories to see how NILMDTS has blessed their lives as well...

Michael's Funeral

2009-06-30T17:22:00.006-05:00

Today was Michael's funeral and probably one of the toughest days of my life. NOBODY should ever have to feel the way I feel. NOBODY should ever have to bury their child. My heart feels like it is shattered. I carried this child inside me for 34 weeks and 5 days and before I really got to say hello to him, I had to say good-bye. Even though I know The Lord has a bigger plan for Michael, it still doesn't seem fair. Our friend, Johnny, reminded me of Isaiah 11:6. "The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them," Johnny said if everyone grew old and then died, then there wouldn't be any children in The Kingdom, just old people. I find comfort in knowing for sure and trusting in God that I will see my baby again. I will get to teach him God's ways without the influences of this world. I know he will have a perfect, incorruptable body. I know that I will get to be his mommy someday. Even though I want that now more than anything, God has His plans and they are much mightier than mine. Even though I don't understand why this happened to me and my husband, I know The Lord has His reasons and He will explain them to us someday.

My Baby Boy, Michael Christian

2009-06-28T14:58:00.001-05:00

You Are Loved...